I should know better than to touch the fire twice...

... I still haven't taken your pictures down, I'm not that strong yet. 

I will forever be grateful for your love. 

I will forever be thankful for your security.

I will forever miss the sense of family you gave to  me. 

With all my might I have tried to be mad, Ive tried to fill the sadness with anger... and i have failed miserably. 

There are days that I still pick up my phone to call you, every time i have news... you're still the first person i want to tell. I miss the heaviness of my heart in happiness; not in tears.  I have no resentment at this point despite the fact that everyone says i should. 

I haven't decided when the 'correct' time for me to move on is... and I haven't decided how I'm going to take it when you do. Its going to hurt.... a lot. I wish with all my might i could be bitter, apathetic, or resentful... what worries me is that i haven't even cried much, i keep waiting for it to come... and there is a fear it wont stop. 

I hate that i will forever compare people to you [us]. What scares me the most is the fear that the memories and hurt will never go away, that i will always refer back to you... and that a love that i felt for you can never be reciprocated with anyone else. 

I hate that i couldn't save it... that this wasn't something i could fix. 

I hate that this was the best decision. I hate the questions, the pictures, the words, the music, and the memories of everything that went wrong.  

I hate that were better people apart. 

Im healing slowly and slightly awkward. Its not the nights that get me.. it seems to be the mornings, the beginnings. Im working on breathing, loving, trusting, and living. 

Everything heals with time... it just may not be the same as when it started. 

Will you stay?
Stay ‘till the darkness leaves
Stay here with me
I know you’re busy, I know I’m just one
But you might be the only one who sees me
The only one to save me

Irvine/Kelly Clarkson