Time by no other name

Time, you are no friend of mine…
Taking precious things from me as you go…
Taking friends, taking family, taking lives…

You took the old pickup that stayed parked after grandpa died,
You took the life out of a widows eyes…

You took my great-grandmothers chicken coops, and her old front yard swing.
You took my great uncles pet raccoons and his loud barking dogs.

You took the family dinners I attended for 18 years,
And the picture window that made our living room glow.

You’ve taken the snow for 21 years, not leaving a flake.
You’ve taken my innocence, leaving only my mistakes.

You took my brother miles away, leaving not even his shadow to remain.
You took his youth, left nothing but regrets and sorrows.

You’ve taken dozens of summers and fears of August.
You’ve taken hundreds of sleepovers and several friendships.

You’ve taken uncles, aunts, grandmas, and cousins.
You’ve taken holidays, birthdays and 14 of my parents’ anniversaries.

You’ve taken backyard bomb fires and campouts.
You’ve taken at least a hundred childhood crushes and one first love.

You’ve taken my childhood neighbors floating guitar rifts and left busy highways.
You’ve taken hundreds of secrets left on the school bus and dozens of long distant phone calls.

You've taken late nights and a million laughs with my college roommates.
You've taken the first night I spent with my soul mate.

You've taken my first night away from home and the light I left on to help me sleep.
You've taken the moment when I realized I was an adult, and that home would never be the same.

You’ve taken my mothers memory of my first smile, laugh, steps, and words.
You’ve taken my fathers memory of my mandatory gymnastic meets.


Time you leave nothing in your place… but the future.
You assure nothing and leave no prevalence.

All I know is my future has high standards to meet.

The memories aren’t all good, definitely not all bad, but they are my life: and how I lived it.
They are the experiences I have to learn from, to grow from, and have come to love.

Say it ain't so/Weezer

Say it ain't so

Your drug is a heartbreaker

Say it ain't so

My love is a lifetaker

I can't confront you
I never could do
That which might hurt you
So try and be cool When I say

This way is a waterslide away from me

that takes you further every day

So be cool

Things left behind...

Following tail lights...

Yumm.. cake.

Beauty: AKA

My parents backyard

Remnants of summer.

View of the Arkansas River.

This is the one that got away: Pepper

sniff. sniff. I miss him.

** Just some stuff left over...

Somewhere within the lights..

... there is the history of us.
when looking back i always saw two lights, and I'm not sure which burned out first.

The lights used to glow flawlessly, vivid, and benevolent
but for whatever reason you have decided to cover the glow.

I always have the natural light to guide me,
and truth be told i prefer its company these days.

Who knows who holds the switch,
or who may replace the fuse...

My ego bets it wont be me, and your triteness bets it wont be you.

With winter coming and the cool air to follow,
Ill hold on to my natural light and the consuming fire...
For what comforts better than Gods natural radiance,
and the peacefulness of burning memories...

The future stings as it enters through my fingertips,
and succeeds my soul...
I have a feeling this fire holds bittersweet beginnings,
but I'm trying to not give away the ending...

This too shall pass:

If I can endure for this minute
Whatever is happening to me,
No matter how heavy my heart is
Or how dark the moment may be-

If I can remain calm and quiet
With all the world crashing about me,
Secure in the knowledge God loves me
When everyone else seems to doubt me-

If I can but keep on believing
What I know in my heart to be true,
That darkness will fade with the morning
And that this will pass away, too-

Then nothing in life can defeat me
For as long as this knowledge remains
I can suffer whatever is happening
For I know God will break all of the chains
That are binding me tight in the darkness
And trying to fill me with fear-

For there is no night without dawning
And I know that my morning is near.

-Helen Steiner Rice-

Words of pattern.

"..Sometimes you lie in a strange room, in a strange person's home, and you feel yourself bending out of shape. Melting, touching something hot, something that warps you in drastic and probably irreversible ways you wont get to take stock of until its too late....Is there any scarier word than "irreversible"? Its a hiss of a word, full of side effects and mutilations. Severe tire damage--- no backing up."-- Rob Sheffield 'Love is a mix tape'

Lyrics:

Wait right here
Was all she said to me
And so right here I stay
Time has reached our home
And I've been left alone
It's carried him away

And everyone keeps saying
Nothing helps but time
Time is all I own
The timings stop replaying over in my mind
I watch the hours slow down

So I crawl underneath my blanket
Where I can hide away
I know I can't take it ‘Cause I see now
It's just one of those days
-- Joshua Radin: One of those days