Summertime and the livings easy...

Ohhh the joys of summer!! Sleeping in, watching movies into ungodly hours of the night, tanning, the lake, pool time, water parks, free time for reading, more time for friends and family, and best of all??? -- NO SCHOOL, NO HOMEWORK, and NO STUDYING!! w00t, w00t!!

I'm sad to say there is only one month left of these glorious lazy days... I will miss getting to spend so much time at my new home with my mister and lil' stink pot. I am however, excited about getting into my last two years of school and my first block of education classes. It's both liberating and terrifying to think that I only have 2 years of school left until I will be pushed into the 'real' world and forced to interact with 'adults'.... blah. Maybe i'll just stay in school forever. Hmmmmm.

Unfortunately I havent taken any awesome summer trips or gone to any cool countries these past two months... I went to Heber for the fourth of July with the mister and his mom and stink pot. We met up with my parents and a couple they are friends with. My parents rented out a 13 person cabin on the little red river with a pool literally in the front yard. It was a blast! Stink pot didn't get out of the pool for more then 20 minutes the WHOLE day! He's such a water baby!!!








My mister and me!!


The bunkhouse we stayed in, it was so comfy!!

April Showers... bring May movers!

Ya know, its not for the lack of something to say that I dont update this blog. It's quite to opposite really... I often have too much to say and don't know how to narrow it down or organize it in a way that would be worth you reading... if 'you' even really exists.

The Spring semester is winding down quickly and i'm welcoming it with open arms! This is my last semester of remedial courses and i just have 2 years left!! I'm so ready to graduate and have my own classroom!!

In other exciting news, the mister and I are moving in May!!! We found an adorable 2 bedroom house in Roland for us and the little munchkin... (who just turned 2 by the way!!) It's both exciting and a bit unnerving to be making such a large leap, in one sense its comforting to feel as though i have another person fighting on my side who lays his head next to me every night. I feel like for so long now i've been fighting the fight on my own... dealing with the stresses of work, school, family, friendships, bills, and money on my own... and its a comforting feeling knowing someone is there to share those stresses with me & someone who is there to help relieve some of those stresses. On another hand its a bit scary to be making this leap... even though I love him as much as I do, it's a big leap that we're making and i'm sure this road will be bumpy at times but we have faith in our love and hopefully the common sense to know when we should keep our mouths shut. =-)

I'll make sure to put up some pics of our cute home when we get settled in!

Much love,
xoxoxo

Time to update this popsicle stand..

Well hello there 2010... It's nice to meet you. I hope we have a lot of fun together this year!

My trip to Minnesota for New Years was great, but there's no place like home... I must admit. It was wonderful to spend some quality time with my brother and his girl friend Allison... it was also comforting to spend time with friends from High School... which seems like such a long time ago... even though it wasn't.

Spring 2010 semester has commenced.. surprisingly well. I'm taking Concepts of Geometry (an education class), Cultural Anthropology, Teaching People Other Cultures, and an Integrated Science course (also an education class). My science class is already causing me to curse it silently... it seems to be making its way into my 'dread' list already; a list that I pride myself on keeping short. It's a Saturday morning class from 8:30am to 12:30pm and is followed by working 3-9pm which makes for one long day! I've never been a fan of Science, though I do find Earth Science and Biology extremely interesting. However, once you throw math into the mix, count me out please. I request much prayer for patience and understanding for this class!! lol

Life outside of work, school, and my mister is pretty much non-existent... I don't have much time for anything else. I find myself using my free time for crazy things like sleeping, eating, and doing laundry. I hate that I don't have more time for friends and family but I keep reminding myself this is something I HAVE to do and that one day it will pay off. Yes... pay off indeed... pay off by working long hours with screaming/hormonal preteens, dealing with over zealous administrators, and taking home not much more money than i make now as a part time waitress at a burger joint... I honestly cant wait. =-)

I dont believe in making new years resolutions but I will list some things i WONT do this year:
* I wont diet or worry about my weight in any form.
* I wont worry about others perceptions of me..... as much.
* I wont dwell on a relationship that should have ended 2 years sooner than it did.
* I wont spend more time interacting with the digital world than the real one.
* I wont spend more time watching TV and/or Facebooking than I will studying/doing homework.
* I wont limit my reading to only required text.. I wont feel bad indulging in mindless, pointless novels and murder mysteries.
* I wont let anyone make me feel belittled or unimportant based on things that i'm not.


Here is to a bright future year that I hope is full of happiness, health, success, and peace.

Happiness is a warm... glass of hot chocolate.

Finals are OVER!!!!..... and I made it through alive!

It wasn't as bad as I had expected, just a rough couple days.

Christmas is fast approaching... and I have nothing to do between now and January 11 besides work, rest, and enjoy time with my friends and family!

Last weekend we celebrated B.Js (the mister) Christmas present by going to the Kansas City Chiefs vs. Denver Broncos NFL game in Kansas City, MO. He had never been to an NFL game so I thought it was a great gift idea. We were joined by his mom and step-dad who are huge Bronco fans as well. We got into KC about 10pm Saturday night and checked into our beautiful comfy hotel (we stayed at the Holiday Inn express across the highway from Arrowhead Stadium). The hotel was adorned with towering Christmas trees and window treatments. We were welcomed by a cozy lobby with comfortable furniture and a warm fire. After we settled into our room, we went down to the bar and had some drinks with fellow visiting Bronco fans, where we also (almost) witnessed a fight between an avid female Nebraska fan and an avid male Texan fan... luckily there was not fight.

We woke up Sunday morning and had a big (yet slightly disappointing) breakfast and Tawnya and I got our faces painted with Bronco heads... then while the boys made an emergency trip to Walmart for batteries and ponchos to keep us dry from the possible rain and snow; Tawnya and I finished packing and putting on our game gear. We got our car packed and met up in the lobby to wait for the shuttle that took us to Arrowhead Stadium where the game commenced! ... As we knew they would, the Broncos stomped the Chiefs and we made it through the game without freezing to death!! My toes were a little numb but i made it through none the less. We left KC about 5 after stopping for a warm dinner and made it back into Little Rock about 11pm. It was a great trip and plans are being made for more games next season!! I'm hoping one of those games will be a Viking game!! (Fingers Crossed)

Here's to hoping everyone has a great Christmas and New Years! My mom and I will be traveling to Minnesota December 30th through January 6th, my brothers girlfriend bought tickets for us as a Christmas present to my brother and we're keeping it a surprise!! It will be the first time in about 8 years that I have seen the winters snow of MN and I am overly excited!! It will be very cold but it will be BEAUTIFUL!!! (pictures will definitely be posted later).

So Merry Christmas and Happy New Years!!

* Thats right!! Broncos won 44-13!

* The only interception the Chiefs made...

* Champ Bailey!! Number 24!!

* KC Chiefs cheerleaders!

* Go Broncos!!!

* Arrowhead Stadium... we were 15 rows from the field!

* Me and the Mister....

I'll have a blue Christmas..

* Christmas 2009 has officially kicked off in my apartment!!

B.J. and Hayden came over and we decked our halls...

* Here is my tree decked with blue/silver/purple Christmas balls, white lights, white bows, and candy canes!

* Here is my penguin advent calendar.

* Here is my early Christmas present from B.J. and my Christmas candles and cinnamon scented pine cones!!

* Here is my Snowman candy/cookie jar and my half drank hot chocolate!!Yumm.

** Also, notice the cute snowman in his sleigh at the top of my tree?? That was the misters idea and it turned out great!

I'm...

... heartbroken.

-breathless

-scared

-shocked

-hurt

-betrayed

-disrespected

-confused

-empty

-devastated

... to name a few.

I don't know how we got here, or where we're going.

You ended a 9 month relationship in an unfair 15 minutes.

You say you may just need time.

I understand.

I want to be what I know I can be... but I need you to be what I need.

I need you more than you probably know... but so does he.

He needs you more than I do... he needs what is best.

He needs love, stability, and positive influences.

He needs a chance, an opportunity to be something in this world.

He needs peace.

I want forever with the both of you.

I don't know what you want.

I deserve more respect than what you showed me last night.

I'm giving you space because you need it.

I'm giving you respect because you deserve it.

You are an amazing person and you deserve to feel that way.

You deserve someone who will put you first.

You deserve: love, honesty, compassion, encouragement, happiness, peace, respect, a stable influence for him, a sense of home, faithfulness, maturity, contentment, a future... and those things add up to more than how i am feeling.. more than what i want or need.

So i am giving you time... to do whats best for him... even if that means me not being with you.

... because I love you that much.

I need to learn....

.... to let the small things go and realize you do truly love me and you're not going to hurt me.

Why is that so difficult?