I feel like i'm waiting for something... though i'm not sure what i'm waiting for.
maybe im waiting for something to spark out of my fingertips; magical words that would make everything OK and logical... maybe i'm waiting for a tiny voice to whisper into my ear the path i should take to carve out my future, but lets be honest, I would take all the credit.
I'm reading books, listening to great music, spending time with awesome friends, enjoying summer, doing well in classes. I have a comfortable and safe home, I have clothing on my back and food in my cabinets. Im having some of the best nights in my life and yet, i'm still waiting for... more? less? something else?
I.Have.No.Clue
Maybe I need to start meditating... I would say; sell all of my materialistic chains and become a traveling gypsy... but thats not really logical.
Maybe i'm being selfish, needy, dramatic, complicated.
I have no clue about that either.
Sigh*
Well I suppose the great thing about waiting is.... that I have plenty of time to do it.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Snowplosion 2011!!
Attention: Arkansas has snow!!!
Lots of snow!!!!
As of 12:30 this afternoon we had 5 inches!
Snow for us means:
- campus/schools close (sometimes before it even starts snowing)
- work closes
- everyone & their grandmother goes to Walmart and stocks up on milk,eggs, and bread
- compiling a stash of movies
-making sure you have a surplus of clean PJs available!
Sometimes it's just nice to go outside and listen to the silence of the snow... and as annoying as it may be sometimes, it's nice to be forced by such a compelling act of nature to slow down, relax, rest, and enjoy some time with friends and family.
Classes have already been canceled for tomorrow; so I plan on staying up late tonight and starting season 2 of How I Met Your Mother, sleeping in tomorrow morning, and making cinnamon buns for breakfast. That's as far as I've gotten on the plans for snow day #2... and I'm OK with that.
"Aint' no day like a snow day!"
"Aint' no day like a snow day!"
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Meet Rosey!
Name: RoseyAge: 4
Favorite food: Indoor cat formula (Purina), I also enjoy the occasional Fancy Feast salmon meal and Pounce moist Caribbean catch cat treats but I'm watching my figure so I try to not indulge too much....
- My favorite subject to read about is Geography.. I enjoy learning about all the places that exist outside my cute little house that I share with my mommy.
I REALLY enjoy napping... especially on soft blankets mom leaves out on the couch for me.. sometimes you just gotta stretch out and catch some ZZzzzzs!!!
My favorite blanket belongs to my mommy, it was a birthday gift from one of her friends but mom usually shares it with me... she knows its my favorite =-)
Sometimes mom will take naps with me, but she can be a cover hog... but i still love her.
I really like it when mom is on the computer, sometimes i can trick her into letting me curl up and rest my head in her hand...
Here's me and mom playing on the bed.. she likes to snap pictures when I'm not looking... she's tricky like that..
If mommy doesn't give me enough attention sometimes I have to demand it... but I don't think she minds too much ;-)
At night time I like to cuddle up with mom in bed... its always nice and warm and she keeps extra blankets at the end of the bed for me.. I love her a lot... and I'm pretty sure she loves me =-)Thursday, January 6, 2011
So this really is...
... goodbye.
It seems people, like seasons, seem to rotate in and out of my life constantly.
With the holidays gone and life returning to normal, I'm left with a feeling of uncertainty that I've become familiar with. I've always had a general idea of what my purpose in life is, I've just never known whether I would be doing those things alone or with someone I love.
... I think I've realized it doesn't really matter.
Explaining to someone that despite how much you love them, you love yourself more... and in loving yourself you've realized whats best is to no longer be with that person, is heartbreaking. Dealing with the selfish feeling you're left with after that conversation is excruciating. I'm refusing to play the pity card and feel the deep grieving I so badly want to feel because I'm afraid of what it would do to my logical thinking. Never in my life have I so desperately NOT wanted to feel so sure about something.
"And I'll miss you like you're dead
And find a way to grieve you
Cause I need to try and start again
And your ghost will have to leave, Like a child would his mother
Or a lover Who has to say goodbye"
It seems people, like seasons, seem to rotate in and out of my life constantly.
With the holidays gone and life returning to normal, I'm left with a feeling of uncertainty that I've become familiar with. I've always had a general idea of what my purpose in life is, I've just never known whether I would be doing those things alone or with someone I love.
... I think I've realized it doesn't really matter.
Explaining to someone that despite how much you love them, you love yourself more... and in loving yourself you've realized whats best is to no longer be with that person, is heartbreaking. Dealing with the selfish feeling you're left with after that conversation is excruciating. I'm refusing to play the pity card and feel the deep grieving I so badly want to feel because I'm afraid of what it would do to my logical thinking. Never in my life have I so desperately NOT wanted to feel so sure about something.
"And I'll miss you like you're dead
And find a way to grieve you
Cause I need to try and start again
And your ghost will have to leave, Like a child would his mother
Or a lover Who has to say goodbye"
Thursday, October 21, 2010
"When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it." - Henry Ford
... I'm a horrible blogger. I'll admit that now. I dont do a great job at keeping up, time just doesnt allow it, i'm afraid. I'm the same way with planners and diaries/journals... I buy them with the best of intentions but time gets the best of me.
... I do however want to share some beautiful Arkansas Fall pictures. There are a lot of things about living in the 'Bible' belt South that can be frustrating at times, but the beautiful landscaping of this state is definitely not one of them.
... I do however want to share some beautiful Arkansas Fall pictures. There are a lot of things about living in the 'Bible' belt South that can be frustrating at times, but the beautiful landscaping of this state is definitely not one of them.
Monday, August 23, 2010
So this is Goodbye// William Fitzsimmons
The thing never now, were you
You're gone and I won't see you anymore
You left my love on the run
And said that you were leaving
And you won't come home again
And I'll miss you like you're dead
But I never got to grieve you
Cause I saw you In the arms of someone else
So your phantom follows me Like a child would his mother
Or a lover who never said goodbye
It's only saying goodbye
And I cry myself to sleep
And you thought I was happy
I was lonely
Had nowhere to go
And I heard that you moved on
Found a brand new family
And changed your married name
And everything has changed
And I'll miss you like you're dead
And find a way to grieve you
Cause I need to try and start again
And your ghost will have to leave, Like a child would his mother
Or a lover Who has to say goodbye
It's always say goodbye
You're gone and I won't see you anymore
You left my love on the run
And said that you were leaving
And you won't come home again
And I'll miss you like you're dead
But I never got to grieve you
Cause I saw you In the arms of someone else
So your phantom follows me Like a child would his mother
Or a lover who never said goodbye
It's only saying goodbye
And I cry myself to sleep
And you thought I was happy
I was lonely
Had nowhere to go
And I heard that you moved on
Found a brand new family
And changed your married name
And everything has changed
And I'll miss you like you're dead
And find a way to grieve you
Cause I need to try and start again
And your ghost will have to leave, Like a child would his mother
Or a lover Who has to say goodbye
It's always say goodbye
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
It's a joyous thing, really...
... I have successfully worked a shift without ANY lower back pain and without the help of any pain meds!!! No sharp pains, no nausea because of my back hurting so much, no need to sit down to make it through the day... NOTHING!! What a glorious feeling!! I just want to kiss and hug my chiropractor to death!!
We went over my X-rays yesterday and I was told that my spine looks great! No signs of arthritis and everything looked aligned properly, he said my spine has a perfect curve and the only problems he saw was in one of my lover vertebra, it was slightly tilted and he doesn't believe there is any reason it cant be corrected soon. What a blessing!! I can't even remember the last day i've gone without my back hurting while participating in daily activities!
I'm instructed to sit on ice 2-3 times a day to help the inflammation in the right side of my lower back and to do stretches 2-3 times a day. I have another appointment Thursday and I cant wait to tell him the good news! He's a miracle worker! LOL!
On another happy note, my mister and I are headed to Branson next week!! I've been bugging him for WEEKS to give me some dates so we can go on a trip together before school starts. This will be the first time in the 16 months that we have been dating that we have done something ALONE. Any time we take a trip we always have family with us or Hayden. In fact, this will be the first time that we have ever spent an entire day without one of us working or going to school or having Hayden. I cant wait!!! As much as I love Hayden and our families and am grateful for a good job and the ability to receive an education... I CANT WAIT to have my mister all to myself. It is long overdue and desperately needed!!
Fall classes start in apprx one month and I am SOOOOOOO ready!! I am so excited to get back into the classroom and start on my final 2 years. I'll actually be taking classes that will benefit me in my career and I'll also be in the classroom every Friday observing! And honestly, I'm a bit excited about the fact that i'll only be working weekends! Due to my sporadic and hectic class schedule the next two years I'm only able to work Friday nights through Sunday mornings, thankfully God has provided (as He always does) enough extra money for me to be able to afford to do that... I've always worked 4-6 days a week + being in classes full time... it will be a nice relief and unless I start to get lazy or bored, I plan on sticking to the 3 day work schedule all semester.
I have realized over the past few years of working 30 hours a week and going to school full time that it keeps me on track, it helps keep me motivated and I tend to do better in school (keeping a 3.7 GPA or above). I'm hoping the lax schedule this year wont hinder any of that motivation...
Well here's to the ending of summer rapidly approaching and to a new season of life!!
We went over my X-rays yesterday and I was told that my spine looks great! No signs of arthritis and everything looked aligned properly, he said my spine has a perfect curve and the only problems he saw was in one of my lover vertebra, it was slightly tilted and he doesn't believe there is any reason it cant be corrected soon. What a blessing!! I can't even remember the last day i've gone without my back hurting while participating in daily activities!
I'm instructed to sit on ice 2-3 times a day to help the inflammation in the right side of my lower back and to do stretches 2-3 times a day. I have another appointment Thursday and I cant wait to tell him the good news! He's a miracle worker! LOL!
On another happy note, my mister and I are headed to Branson next week!! I've been bugging him for WEEKS to give me some dates so we can go on a trip together before school starts. This will be the first time in the 16 months that we have been dating that we have done something ALONE. Any time we take a trip we always have family with us or Hayden. In fact, this will be the first time that we have ever spent an entire day without one of us working or going to school or having Hayden. I cant wait!!! As much as I love Hayden and our families and am grateful for a good job and the ability to receive an education... I CANT WAIT to have my mister all to myself. It is long overdue and desperately needed!!
Fall classes start in apprx one month and I am SOOOOOOO ready!! I am so excited to get back into the classroom and start on my final 2 years. I'll actually be taking classes that will benefit me in my career and I'll also be in the classroom every Friday observing! And honestly, I'm a bit excited about the fact that i'll only be working weekends! Due to my sporadic and hectic class schedule the next two years I'm only able to work Friday nights through Sunday mornings, thankfully God has provided (as He always does) enough extra money for me to be able to afford to do that... I've always worked 4-6 days a week + being in classes full time... it will be a nice relief and unless I start to get lazy or bored, I plan on sticking to the 3 day work schedule all semester.
I have realized over the past few years of working 30 hours a week and going to school full time that it keeps me on track, it helps keep me motivated and I tend to do better in school (keeping a 3.7 GPA or above). I'm hoping the lax schedule this year wont hinder any of that motivation...
Well here's to the ending of summer rapidly approaching and to a new season of life!!
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